Starting Weight: 268.8 lbs
Last Week: 235.6 lbs
Current: 240.2 lbs
I hate to say it, because I don’t like weighing myself more than once a week, but I’m going to weigh myself again tomorrow. If that is a real influx of weight, then I need to do something. I am weighing out of my next diet bet this week. A weight like that will have me losing, and I don’t want that. I will check again tomorrow. Perhaps the soup that I made last night had more salt than I thought. Or… something. I hope there is something. I already said goodbye to the 240’s, I’m not looking forward to a reunion.
I have discovered that I’m pretty judgmental about how people lose weight. I am against surgery to do it. I realize that there are people that have gotten to the point of life and death when it comes to their weight, but other than that, I believe that people should do the work to get the results. I had been following a blog for over a year. She is overweight and trying to lose weight. I’ve watched her yo yo through a few fads this past year with no success. She just doesn’t stick with anything much beyond the initial water weight loss. Now, she wants to go for gastric bypass surgery. She’s talking about all of her food restrictions before and after the surgery, and how she’s looking forward to it because she thrives with set rules. No you don’t! If you did, then you would have stuck with your initial diet of eating healthier and moving more. She had a plan and did great while she stuck with it. Surgery isn’t an easy way out. It won’t bring you to your goal. You still need to work. If you’re a food addict before, you still will be after. Only now, a binge could be fatal. She needs to exercise and restrict her calories for a while before the surgery. I’m hoping that she’ll realize that is just what she needed to do all along. We are worth the effort and time. In a world where we want everything now, I can see why we want our results quicker too. We didn’t get here overnight. We’re not going to find our way out overnight either.
We need to deal with our issues to make any progress. Something got us here. We buried something, some pain, with the temporary joy that food can bring. Without fixing the problem, we’re going to keep running up against it. I am kind of miserable this week. I should have a newborn snuggled up with me, but I lost my pregnancy earlier this year. I rubbed against that thought at the beginning of October and brushed it off, and a couple of times in the past couple of weeks. Now this morning, it slapped me in the face. I wonder if it was going to be a boy or a girl. I thought boy. I’m going to be thinking about him a lot, and I’m going to come to terms with this somehow. I need to forgive me. I’m not going to add this to the pile of reasons that I hide. I also don’t want to be haunted by these feelings forever. At least, not this strongly.
So tonight, I am heading to CrossFit once again. They will kick my butt, and I will say thank you. I think that I finally recovered yesterday. My legs were quite useless. Good thing I had plenty more boxes to move. Yes, I’m still moving. I’m up to my books. My giant bookcases do not seem to have survived very well. They may need to be replaced. That’s a task for another day.