What a great time to start over. I am ready to drag myself out from under my rock, dust myself off, and face the new year. As I type that, I realize that I am not saying it with as much gusto as I would like, but it is as much as I feel. I struggle with depression, and I have been battling myself over the last months. Too many changes, too much pushing on me from my surroundings… I caved. On the bright side, I didn’t regain more than 5 lbs…

I am not making excuses, but there is no way that I will be making it to the gym in the next few days. I have a house of people with the plague, and I am both caring for them and trying not to catch it. It is a miracle that I haven’t, the kids and my boyfriend have been hacking their lungs up for well over a month. Tomorrow, we get to go back to the doctor’s. Woo hoo! I am reinstating my home workout method, starting today. I count reps of certain exercises. The plan is to do that for the days that I do not make it to the gym, and have a planned workout for when I do. My gym bag will be packed shortly and stashed in my car.

How did I manage to not pack on the pounds while not doing anything at all? They really mean it when they say weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise. I didn’t stuff myself, and I still leaned toward my healthier options. I’ve had a few more glasses of wine here and there, but over all I have been pretty balanced. I have been slacking off in the water department. I actually feel thirsty most of my day, I just haven’t filled up a glass to do anything about it yet. After posting this, I’m going to polish off my cup of tea and grab a glass of water.

My personal life is wreaking havoc. I feel like I’m in the middle of a tornado just watching everything be thrust around me. I can’t stop it or even hold onto anything. All I can do is hang on tight to myself. I can rule myself with an iron fist, and I’m going to do it.