I clean when I go through the process of regaining my health. There is something about that forward momentum that allows me to let go (emotionally and of stuff). I tend to hit a point where my system says, “Stop. You’ve had enough” when I’m in full swing, filling garbage bags. Removing clutter shocks my system. Letting go makes me feel chaotic. I require stability to thrive. As I’m moving all of this stuff into my new home, I am going through it. I am throwing things away, donating them, putting them in a yard sale pile, and just reminiscing. It is mentally exhausting. I hold onto so much stuff, no wonder I allow myself to be weighed down. I need to lighten everything. I’m making progress and that is all I can ask of me. I will not allow myself to sit stagnant again.
Yesterday, I built some metal shelves in the basement to hold my items that are stored on a more permanent basis. I’ll be moving boxes down there as I’ve repacked them. I’m a little afraid to dig into the more personal items. I’ll do it though. I don’t want my boyfriend coming home to the maze of boxes that it has become. I should post a picture. It is funny, if it weren’t so sad… I have 11 days to go.