As I Yo-Yo again… (Operation Motivation)

I’m back… again. I haven’t taken a full 5 months off, but I feel like I might have well have. My scale practically groans when I start to approach. Ok, that isn’t true, but I imagine it in my head in the morning. I’m back for inspiration and motivation. Oh, I need motivation. And, a therapist. Since I’m unwilling to find the last one right now, I’ll stick to helping my body to become healthier and hope my mind follows.

Since back to school shopping was done, I am fully stocked up on notebooks. I have no reason not to be journaling like a madwoman. I have also found a bike riding buddy. I purchased a bike several years ago. I even rode it a couple of times. I have gone for more bike rides in the past two weeks than I have the rest of the years I have owned the thing. I even rode around the block a couple of times today with my daughter. My only complaint is that my butt hurts after. I bought a cushioned seat cover, which helps a little, but my muscles on my bottom need to get used to holding me up on a tiny seat. I will get there before snow falls this Winter.

I am currently not working (I am a seasonal employee), so my days consist of cleaning, school work (Masters Degree), and exercise. Well, that is what it should consist of. Too often, my day is filled with Netflix, couch naps, and wishing I had done something with my day. I miss my weekly goals. I felt like I was getting something done.

I have a handful of sources of motivation right now, some healthy, some not so healthy.

1) My darling daughter. She is always a shining spot of love, motivation, dedication and all that is good. I want her to live in a happy healthy environment. I will be a positive role model in her life.

2) Diet Bet. I joined another Diet Bet and I read our activity board regularly (every time I feel like drowning out reality with donuts). Seeing other women working together, sharing ideas, acknowledging accomplishments, supporting each other in struggles gets my mind back to where I want it to be.

3) I compare myself to others. Here’s my unhealthy one that keeps me writing in my journal because I am driving myself insane. I was in Abu Dhabi for the Summer visiting my boyfriend. He is surrounded by gorgeous women that are scantly clad and just passing through. I’m not going into this further because it’ll set me off on a self loathing tangent and I’m looking for positive motivation right now and not one fueled by frantic desperation.

To wrap this up, here are my goals for the week.

  1. Meet my FitBit step goal each day this week.
  2. Try a new healthy recipe.
  3. Finish my homework by Thursday. (This will reduce so much stress in my weekend. No one deserves to have a stressed out weekend.)
  4. Time my mile on my walk/jog.
  5. Sign up for the NAMI RI 5k for this weekend.

I’m going to start with this and come up with my long term goals later. And I’m off! I’m planning on playing Just Dance before bed 🙂

And my weight this morning was 244 lbs…

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Goals and Moving Moving (part 4)

I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing this month. My weight is firmly in the 230’s. We’re not saying goodbye any time soon. My cold is a sinus and ear infection. The theory is that my allergy meds can’t handle the amount of dust moving has stirred up for my head. My nasal cavities are revolting in the form of pine green sludge. My antibiotic has me hearing again, but my new and improved allergy medicine has me watery eyed and sniffily.

My other obstacle right now is my depression rearing its ugly head. I am bipolar and I refuse to go back on meds. While they are great for my lows, they also balance out my highs. Real happiness is rare enough, I don’t want it to be medicated away. Since I can’t use exercise to pep me up, stupid sinuses, I’m sinking. I’m sleeping. I’m averaging 10 hours of sleep on a week day right now. I napped most of yesterday. I have been trying to do my homework for days now, but my brain just can’t focus on it. I need someone to hang out with me. Remind me not to sleep when my eye lids get heavy and tell me to answer just one more question when I sit here and stare at this screen. Even this post has taken me days to write. I started on the 1st. I need help, and I’m afraid to ask. I feel so isolated at the new place. I’m so alone right now and that feeling is just taking over.

So here’s how I did with my to do list… I’m removing the entry to repair the rail. Apparently, it requires more structural repair than I can accomplish on my own.

October

  1. Remodel my closet. (on hold, but well underway. Boyfriend is away and will complete upon his return)(carried from August)
  2. Move all of my stuff into the new house (Still working on it. I have two more days)(Now I’ve been extended another week)(carried from August)
  3. Improve Crunches to 40 and knee push ups to 20. (Carried from September)
  4. Fix the railing on the porch and paint it. (Carried from September)
  5. Go jogging with my boyfriend. (He doesn’t want to sooo much that he left the country again)
  6. Take a new class at the gym (or possibly stop in at the Crossfit  gym I found near my house)
  7. Say good bye to the 230’s.

November

  1. Move all of my stuff into the new house (Still working on it. I have two more days)(Now I’ve been extended another week)(carried from August)(For the love of God, please let this get done)
  2. Go jogging with my boyfriend. (He doesn’t want to sooo much that he left the country again. (Carried from October)
  3. Say good bye to the 230’s. (Carried from October)
  4. Go to at least 1 crossfit class a week.

By June 2014

  1. Take a scuba class.
  2. Run an entire 5k.
  3. Reduce debt by 50%.
  4. Organize all stored items in basement.
  5. Have a yard sale.
  6. Onederland

I didn’t add anything much. It felt really discouraging that I didn’t cross more off this month. I want moving to be done. It is probably all the dust from these boxes that is setting my allergies off. I just don’t have the energy to fix everything. I’m going to keep trying, because that’s all I can do.

Goals and Still Moving (part 3)

I really like that my monthly goal update, weekly weigh in, and 100th post all fall in one. Thank you to everyone that is reading about my journey. I really appreciate all of the support and comments that you have contributed. Let’s start with my weigh in…

Starting Weight: 268.8 lbs

Last Week:           241.8 lbs

Current:                237.6 lbs

Huge happy dance! Good bye 240’s! I weighed myself both days this weekend. I didn’t want it to just be a water fluctuation. I feel like this one is solid. This also means that I have met my goal for my first DietBet! I need to maintain or improve for another week or so until my weigh out. I get a cut of the $74k pot. The Jillian Michaels diet bet is still underway. That pot is over $233k. I’m so very excited about my results. Winning is a nice added bonus. And now we say good bye to my September goals…

September

  1. Complete C25K Week 1 (on hold ankle injury) (carried from August)
  2. Remodel my closet. (on hold, but well underway. Boyfriend is away and will complete upon his return)(carried from August)
  3. C25k Week 2 (see #1) (carried from August)
  4. Move all of my stuff into the new house (Still working on it. I have two more days)(Now I’ve been extended to the end of October)(carried from August)
  5. Improve Crunches to 40 and knee push ups to 20.
  6. Actual workouts – at least 2 a week all month. Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4
  7. Fix the railing on the porch and paint it.
  8. Leave the 240′s behind!

By June 2014

  1. Take a scuba class.
  2. Run an entire 5k.
  3. Reduce debt by 50%.
  4. Organize all stored items in basement.
  5. Have a yard sale.
  6. Onederland

I did ok. I’ll give me an ok. I really wanted to knock everything off this month. I’ll have to settle for October. I didn’t practice my push ups nearly as much as I wanted to. While I’ve been getting workouts in, I haven’t been pushing. It is something I need to do at home. I just feel silly in the gym. I’ll get over my self-consciousness eventually.

I think I’m done with the C25k program. I want to continue improving my running, but I kind of want to run more when I can and feel like I can walk when I need to. As long as my times keep improving, I’ll call it progress.

I am not too sure what this month will actually bring life or fitness-wise. I see a small vacation in the near future. I will also be starting a new job with new hours. But, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t keep going with a to do list. Bring it on, October!

October

  1. Remodel my closet. (on hold, but well underway. Boyfriend is away and will complete upon his return)(carried from August)
  2. Move all of my stuff into the new house (Still working on it. I have two more days)(Now I’ve been extended to the end of October)(carried from August)
  3. Improve Crunches to 40 and knee push ups to 20. (Carried from September)
  4. Fix the railing on the porch and paint it. (Carried from September)
  5. Go jogging with my boyfriend.
  6. Take a new class at the gym (or possibly stop in at the Crossfit  gym I found near my house)
  7. Say good bye to the 230’s.

I don’t know if it is my mood today or what. I just can’t think of another goal to add to my list. I keep reading about CrossFit. It sounds like a lot of work, and something that I would like. This place has a free first time drop in. I don’t know if I’m in good enough shape to give it a whirl. Then again, I’m there to improve. Maybe it doesn’t matter where I am in my journey. I’ve removed 30 lbs so far. It isn’t like I’m brand new to exercising. I’ll think about it and try to stop stressing about everyone looking at me.

Traditionally, this is where I give up on my weight loss journey. I want to stay engaged and not bury myself back under a rock. I need to deal with my issues before they pop up again. Proactive. That will be my theme of the month. I’ll try and stay a step ahead of my… well… head.

Monday Weigh In

Starting Weight: 268.8 lbs

Friday: 243.6 lbs

Current: 241.8lbs

There’s my first goal! 10% of my starting body weight gone!

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In this picture we have my candle holder. Each bead inside represents a pound I have to lose. I attach them to the outside when it has been removed. You will also see my bottle of perfume that is my reward. Not to mention my clothes fitting better 🙂

I have to admit, after my dinner out with the boss, I had a hard time getting my portions back under control. Yesterday let me know that I’m back in control. I went to a NASCAR race and was surrounded by a whole lot of junk. While the fries and chicken fingers were coming in, the only things I got for myself were 2 bottles of water and an Italian ice. I stole two spoons of soup and four French fries from my daughter. I think I did great.

So here begins the removal of my next 10%. I am feeling good about this.

Goals and Moving (part 2)

Welcome to my goal update post of the month. I’ve crossed off a few things which I am very proud of. I have now added September which has my uncompleted items and some new ones. One thing I noticed this month is that fun races are really expensive! It is like $50 per racer for the really cool ones. So I won’t be chased by zombies or running through mud this year, but I will have a designated piggy bank for future ones. I would like to sign up for my next race within a week of completing this one. If I don’t put that off, then I’ll make myself keep going. Without further ado…

By end of August:

  1. Complete C25K Week 1 (on hold ankle injury)
  2. Get all stored items out of my daughter’s room and move all of her stuff in.
  3. Remodel my closet. (on hold, but well underway. Boyfriend is away and will complete upon his return)
  4. Determine baseline for push ups and crunches  32 crunches and 15 knee push ups
  5. C25k Week 2 (see #1)
  6. Move all of my stuff into the new house (Still working on it. I have two more days)
  7. Sign up for 5k in October or November We have a turkey trot right in town. My daughter and I are signed up!
  8. Leave the 250’s behind!  Oh yeah! 248.6  🙂 🙂

September

  1. Complete C25K Week 1 (on hold ankle injury) (carried from August)
  2. Remodel my closet. (on hold, but well underway. Boyfriend is away and will complete upon his return)(carried from August)
  3. C25k Week 2 (see #1) (carried from August)
  4. Move all of my stuff into the new house (Still working on it. I have two more days)(carried from August)
  5. Improve Crunches to 40 and knee push ups to 20.
  6. Actual workouts – at least 2 a week all month.
  7. Fix the railing on the porch and paint it.
  8. Leave the 240’s behind!

By June 2014

  1. Take a scuba class.
  2. Run an entire 5k.
  3. Reduce debt by 50%.
  4. Organize all stored items in basement.
  5. Have a yard sale.
  6. Onederland

I feel good about this. My daughter is starting her after school program this week, so I do not have to pick her up right away. That gives me after work time to get a workout in. While packing, I stumbled upon my old workout journals (from back when I hit my goal weight). I was kicking butt! I am going to start off with the same format. Perhaps if I plan a week of workouts, I’ll actually do them. It is worth a shot.

 

Goals and Moving

I stole a peek at the scale this morning and I’m down another pound. It isn’t an actual weigh in day for me, so it doesn’t count. I just needed to see improvement this morning. I had about 30 minutes home before my boyfriend got there. I decided to be productive. I emptied and filled the dishwasher, threw in a load of laundry, sorted the recycling, and washed the pans that were hovering around the sink. I like it when I keep moving. How does it go? An object in motion will stay in motion…

I’ve been reading a lot about goals. I’ve chatted about them as well. I would like to make an actual list to be revisited once a week. These aren’t just fitness goals. There are some general life things mixed in as well. Here it goes…

This week:

  1. Complete C25K Week 1
  2. Get all stored items out of my daughter’s room and move all of her stuff in.
  3. Remodel my closet.
  4. Determine baseline for push ups and crunches

By end of August:

  1. C25k Week 2
  2. Move all of my stuff into the new house
  3. Sign up for 5k in October or November
  4. Leave the 250’s behind!

By June 2014

  1. Take a scuba class.
  2. Run an entire 5k.
  3. Reduce debt by 50%.
  4. Organize all stored items in basement.
  5. Have a yard sale.
  6. Onederland

Those all seem reasonable. I’ll add more and cross off as I go. I won’t be running today, just walking. My ankle is a bit tender, so I need to watch how I step. That’ll keep me watching my feet as I walk, but at least I’ll be moving.

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