Oh New Year…

What a great time to start over. I am ready to drag myself out from under my rock, dust myself off, and face the new year. As I type that, I realize that I am not saying it with as much gusto as I would like, but it is as much as I feel. I struggle with depression, and I have been battling myself over the last months. Too many changes, too much pushing on me from my surroundings… I caved. On the bright side, I didn’t regain more than 5 lbs…

I am not making excuses, but there is no way that I will be making it to the gym in the next few days. I have a house of people with the plague, and I am both caring for them and trying not to catch it. It is a miracle that I haven’t, the kids and my boyfriend have been hacking their lungs up for well over a month. Tomorrow, we get to go back to the doctor’s. Woo hoo! I am reinstating my home workout method, starting today. I count reps of certain exercises. The plan is to do that for the days that I do not make it to the gym, and have a planned workout for when I do. My gym bag will be packed shortly and stashed in my car.

How did I manage to not pack on the pounds while not doing anything at all? They really mean it when they say weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise. I didn’t stuff myself, and I still leaned toward my healthier options. I’ve had a few more glasses of wine here and there, but over all I have been pretty balanced. I have been slacking off in the water department. I actually feel thirsty most of my day, I just haven’t filled up a glass to do anything about it yet. After posting this, I’m going to polish off my cup of tea and grab a glass of water.

My personal life is wreaking havoc. I feel like I’m in the middle of a tornado just watching everything be thrust around me. I can’t stop it or even hold onto anything. All I can do is hang on tight to myself. I can rule myself with an iron fist, and I’m going to do it.

Breakfast and Procrastination (part 1)

I missed breakfast this morning. I was going to try and muddle through till lunch, but my tummy (and good reasoning) got the best of me. I, sadly, went to go to Dunkin’ Donuts around the corner for a breakfast sandwich. However, right next to them is a little cafe. I figured that I would peek in since it couldn’t be worse for me than Dunk’s. I ended up ordering the Veggie Breakfast Burrito. Oh my goodness, it was so very good. The egg was fluffy and not weighed down with butter or oil. The veggies were fresh; they sliced them right then. I had it on a spinach wrap. What a difference fresh food makes. It was so yummy and I inhaled it. Now I’m stuffed with just a burrito. I don’t feel weighed down or sluggish. That lets me know that I made a good decision. I may have to forget breakfast again…

We have another rainy day. I may brave the elements and go for a walk anyways. I’m feeling ambitious now. It is only 10 am and I’m 50 OZs into my water for the day too. I have a salad for lunch, but it was just the rest of the veggies in my fridge. It isn’t that big. I might have to dive into my oatmeal reserve.

I don’t seem able to finish my post on procrastination. I’ve stumbled upon an issue that I have. Have you ever been defined by something for so long that you’re afraid to change it? It feels like you’ll be losing part of your identity. It is a ridiculous thought. No one thing defines all of us. But knowing something and feeling that it is true are two completely different things. So you hold onto it, even if you’re trying to replace it with something better for you, something that will make you even happier. Trusting in yourself is hard, especially when you’ve been trained to doubt.

I am intelligent, witty, fun, good with numbers, insightful, independent, quick, dedicated, loyal, caring parent. I’m a lot of good things. I know it. How does doubt even creep in here? No one else’s voice should be louder in my head than my own. I can be successful. Hell, I am successful. I can make any positive change in my life that I want. I just need to whole-heartedly decide to do it. That’s my personal pep talk for the day.

Weighing in

Starting: 268.8 lbs (121.9 kg)

Last week: 254.6 lbs

Current: 253.4 lbs (114.9 kg)

That’s right, I’m down another 1.2! Although I am celebrating another loss, I can’t help but think of how much better it might have been without my little slip ups. I won’t beat me down about it. I’m only human.

I would really like to get under 250. I know that it isn’t my first goal point, but it feels symbolic somehow. I’m really not that far away. It could even only be a week away if I really push it. The thought gets me giddy.

I will be taking two short walks today for my 15 minute breaks. My lunch break I will be spending with a friend. I haven’t seen her in ages and I’m not going to pass it up since she is seldom in town. The rest of my week should be more active than usual. I now have a deadline for moving all of my stuff out of my old place. We have two closets that need some work before I move stuff in them. That’ll have to be done this week. If I think about it all at once, I’ll start to panic. I’ll have to go make my list now… Happy Monday everyone!

Ironic weekend

So I had started writing a post about procrastination on Friday. Yeah, it isn’t done yet. I don’t know if my subconscious has a sense of humor or I really can’t help putting things off sometimes. I will try and finish it up tomorrow since it is now pretty obvious that it is a problem for me.

Tomorrow is a weigh in. I am kind of looking forward to it even though my weekend was less than perfect. I feel slimmer. My pants that I usually wear as a last resort because they are way too tight were quite comfy. I even had some wiggle room in them. When I lay down, I can feel my hip bones again. That feels like progress way more than an abstract number on a scale. I just finished my homework for the week. That was part of my procrastination post. I’ll poke at it more in that post.

I moved my bicycle to my new residence and bought a new helmet. I’m going to suggest to my daughter that we go on a ride down the bike trail. Once I suggest it, she will harp on me until I have fulfilled my obligation. I need her to do that. I’ve also figured out where my treadmill and punching bag will be going. I haven’t told my boyfriend about it yet, but it is a good spot and it will be out of his way.

I didn’t drink all that much water today, and I can feel it. I have a headache, my muscles are unhappy, and I’m not concentrating all that well. I’m drinking water to make me feel better. Hopefully I will at least get my head to stop hurting. That’s it for now. Hopefully I’ll have a good update for tomorrow 🙂

Why I don’t believe in “Cheat Days”

I think that cheat days are very disruptive to the whole weight loss process for 3 reasons.

1. One day that is a free for all as far as food consumption is concerned can undermine an entire week of work. You work hard to create a calorie deficit to take off pounds. One pound is about 3,500 calories. A very festive day can easily blow that out of the water. Especially if your deficit wasn’t that big to begin with.

2. You mean to tell me that on every other day of the week your food and exercise was perfect as planned? You’ve probably already “cheated” on your diet. You do not need to add an entire day to cheat on your plan. That said, don’t beat yourself up about slipping. We do that enough. You also don’t need to wait until tomorrow or a Monday to get back on track.

3. A cheat day sets us up to binge on junk. This is the same junk that triggers all sorts of unhappy and unhealthy feelings in us. Isn’t this the cycle that we are trying to break. Why feed into it?

I suggest higher calorie days. I try and keep my daily calories around 1300. A higher calorie day brings me to about 1600. You can do a lot with 300 extra calories. Mixing things up like that will keep your metabolism from getting in a rut and adjusting to your new regiment, but it won’t sabotage your hard work. You can have items that don’t fit your ideal menu, but plan for it. I can have a scoop of ice cream, but I’m definitely going to move around my meals to adjust for it. Don’t cheat yourself out of reaching your goals.

Plan B

We have a rainy day today and I have a backup plan. I love contingency plans, they feed into my obsessive nature. I packed a gym bag. I have a gym membership for the obligatory first few weeks of a new year. Mine just happens to be on the same block as my office. I even have a backup plan for while at the gym. If the cardio areas are too crowded for me, I’ll see when I walk in, then I brought my swimsuit. I can go swim laps. That’s another knee friendly activity that I like.

I didn’t eat breakfast this morning before I left for work. I also didn’t stop at Dunkin Donuts for a breakfast sandwich. I could easily bypass that since I know that I have oatmeal and dried fruit at the office. Good planning saves my day. Planning also keeps thwarting my excuses as they pop up. Today is going to be another good day, I can feel it.

These shoes are made for walking


I did it again! I left the office at lunchtime to head to the store. I opened my car door and strapped on my sneakers instead. I walked around the block. In theory, this will get easier over time. I really look forward to that.

I was reminded of a few things about walking properly when I hit the half mile mark. Step with your heel and roll to your toe. Once I started doing that, I got the feeling back in my toes. My arms didn’t feel so heavy once I was standing straight. It was even easier when I tightened my tummy to support my core. The one bad habit I’m having trouble breaking is watching my feet. I stare at the ground in front of me when I walk. You’re supposed to have your chin parallel to the ground. Just these few changes can keep me from hurting myself while walking. I don’t want to derail my efforts by a preventable injury. Cheers to another good day.

This is a process

I read pretty much everything here with Weight loss as a tag, and I have to say that I’m mildly disappointed in a good chunk of the posts. So many people are still trying fad diets and deprivation techniques to reach their weight loss goals. Yes, the weight will come off, but what happens when you stop? You can use drops, pills, or powders to boost your metabolism for a bit, but it just takes away your body’s ability to regulate it properly. Your lifestyle is what got you to the point where you felt that you need to make improvements. Change your lifestyle. You can drop 100 lbs, but if you go back to eating fast food and processed junk, guess what, it’ll bring you right back to where you were. Take the time and drop the extra weight naturally. Move your butt, eat healthy foods, stay away from processed junk. If it says “diet” on it, chances are you’re consuming a food like product and not real food. It takes time and effort and dedication, but we are worth it. Let’s say that again… WE ARE WORTH IT. We deserve health and happiness and to feel comfortable in our own skin.

I am not an expert. We all know how to lose weight. Move more. Eat less. We’re not going to see results over night, and why should we? We didn’t get this way over night either. Give it time and do the work.

Perfect day!

Ever have one of those days where you feel like you should have dropped at least 5 lbs? Your food was right on target, you drank plenty of water, you exerted yourself beyond what you thought you could… That was my Tuesday. Yesterday was just perfect. I started with my little workout. I packed my healthy foods for the day. I ate a reasonable dinner and drank plenty of water throughout the day. I even walked around the block instead of just my office building. For those keeping track, it was 1.6 miles in 31 minutes. That is pretty fantastic for me. There were even hills. I was panting and sweating when I walked back into my office. Once I cleaned up, I was glowing.

You know what? I’m not going to step on the scale today. I weigh myself once a week (for my sanity mostly). I know that weight fluctuates up and down every day. Yesterday was just a few drops (happy happy drops) in my bucket for the week. I would love to have more days like them, because I feel great! And that’s why I started this journey, to feel better physically and mentally. With more great days than oops days, I’m on my way.

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