Better than yesterday

And once again, I am feeling better than the day before. I still can’t hear completely, but I’m hopeful about that coming back tomorrow. And walking! I’m ready to walk tomorrow. I have sneakers, optimism and a wee bit of motivation. I am currently putting off of my homework that is due in 3 hours. I have Dr. Who on and here I am typing… not on a spreadsheet where I would be figuring out my homework. I’m going to end my post with a to-do list, because we know how much I love them 🙂

This week…

  1. Finish my to-do list in my happy notebook.
  2. Walk one lap at work each day.
  3. Weigh in and see how much I gained this time…


Once I Mend…

So, I managed to get really sick, then sicker. I had pneumonia, and then the doctors that I visited didn’t treat me well the first couple of times I went in. I’m on my third round of antibiotics, and I’m finally starting to feel better. I still have 10 more days to take this stuff, but I think they finally have it right.

Fitness wise, I am back to the beginning. I get winded walking up a flight of stairs. I nap daily. I have been eating whatever is easy. It is going to be easy to make improvements this time because the only way to go is up. I’m going to try walking on Monday. There’s something about Mondays that make it the right mental time to start something. I’m going to start up again finally. I feel like I’ve done nothing yet this year. My goal for this up coming week is to walk one lap in my office building per day. It isn’t much. It adds up to about 1.25 miles. If you could understand how very little I’ve been doing, then you’d understand that it is way more than I have been able. Walking from the parking lot to my desk has caused a coughing fit. Doing laundry required a nap. I haven’t napped today. I’ve been cleaning. Although I’ve needed to rest, I’ve been doing so much better.

I have a stocked fridge of fruits and veggies. We’re out of chips and frozen processed garbage. I’m ready to clean out my system, my house, my head. I have a to do list and I’m ready to cross of items one by one (I’m starting that tonight).

So, how’s your year going?

Oh New Year…

What a great time to start over. I am ready to drag myself out from under my rock, dust myself off, and face the new year. As I type that, I realize that I am not saying it with as much gusto as I would like, but it is as much as I feel. I struggle with depression, and I have been battling myself over the last months. Too many changes, too much pushing on me from my surroundings… I caved. On the bright side, I didn’t regain more than 5 lbs…

I am not making excuses, but there is no way that I will be making it to the gym in the next few days. I have a house of people with the plague, and I am both caring for them and trying not to catch it. It is a miracle that I haven’t, the kids and my boyfriend have been hacking their lungs up for well over a month. Tomorrow, we get to go back to the doctor’s. Woo hoo! I am reinstating my home workout method, starting today. I count reps of certain exercises. The plan is to do that for the days that I do not make it to the gym, and have a planned workout for when I do. My gym bag will be packed shortly and stashed in my car.

How did I manage to not pack on the pounds while not doing anything at all? They really mean it when they say weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise. I didn’t stuff myself, and I still leaned toward my healthier options. I’ve had a few more glasses of wine here and there, but over all I have been pretty balanced. I have been slacking off in the water department. I actually feel thirsty most of my day, I just haven’t filled up a glass to do anything about it yet. After posting this, I’m going to polish off my cup of tea and grab a glass of water.

My personal life is wreaking havoc. I feel like I’m in the middle of a tornado just watching everything be thrust around me. I can’t stop it or even hold onto anything. All I can do is hang on tight to myself. I can rule myself with an iron fist, and I’m going to do it.

Goals and Moving Moving (part 4)

I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing this month. My weight is firmly in the 230’s. We’re not saying goodbye any time soon. My cold is a sinus and ear infection. The theory is that my allergy meds can’t handle the amount of dust moving has stirred up for my head. My nasal cavities are revolting in the form of pine green sludge. My antibiotic has me hearing again, but my new and improved allergy medicine has me watery eyed and sniffily.

My other obstacle right now is my depression rearing its ugly head. I am bipolar and I refuse to go back on meds. While they are great for my lows, they also balance out my highs. Real happiness is rare enough, I don’t want it to be medicated away. Since I can’t use exercise to pep me up, stupid sinuses, I’m sinking. I’m sleeping. I’m averaging 10 hours of sleep on a week day right now. I napped most of yesterday. I have been trying to do my homework for days now, but my brain just can’t focus on it. I need someone to hang out with me. Remind me not to sleep when my eye lids get heavy and tell me to answer just one more question when I sit here and stare at this screen. Even this post has taken me days to write. I started on the 1st. I need help, and I’m afraid to ask. I feel so isolated at the new place. I’m so alone right now and that feeling is just taking over.

So here’s how I did with my to do list… I’m removing the entry to repair the rail. Apparently, it requires more structural repair than I can accomplish on my own.


  1. Remodel my closet. (on hold, but well underway. Boyfriend is away and will complete upon his return)(carried from August)
  2. Move all of my stuff into the new house (Still working on it. I have two more days)(Now I’ve been extended another week)(carried from August)
  3. Improve Crunches to 40 and knee push ups to 20. (Carried from September)
  4. Fix the railing on the porch and paint it. (Carried from September)
  5. Go jogging with my boyfriend. (He doesn’t want to sooo much that he left the country again)
  6. Take a new class at the gym (or possibly stop in at the Crossfit  gym I found near my house)
  7. Say good bye to the 230’s.


  1. Move all of my stuff into the new house (Still working on it. I have two more days)(Now I’ve been extended another week)(carried from August)(For the love of God, please let this get done)
  2. Go jogging with my boyfriend. (He doesn’t want to sooo much that he left the country again. (Carried from October)
  3. Say good bye to the 230’s. (Carried from October)
  4. Go to at least 1 crossfit class a week.

By June 2014

  1. Take a scuba class.
  2. Run an entire 5k.
  3. Reduce debt by 50%.
  4. Organize all stored items in basement.
  5. Have a yard sale.
  6. Onederland

I didn’t add anything much. It felt really discouraging that I didn’t cross more off this month. I want moving to be done. It is probably all the dust from these boxes that is setting my allergies off. I just don’t have the energy to fix everything. I’m going to keep trying, because that’s all I can do.

Baby Steps and Spinach Cups

Despite my cold, I worked on my to-do list last night. I even did sumo squats and push-ups. Those were only 10 at a time, not enough to get the heart rate up, but enough to make me feel like my body still works. I think that I’m finally doing push ups correctly. How do I know? My abs are killing me! I have finally hit the spot where I keep myself stiff like a board instead of butt up in the air. I love signs of improvement, even little ones like this.

Another part of my to do list was to make my food ahead of time so that I don’t just run through the kitchen throwing what ever I can into my lunch bag. Yes, I’ve been tracking it, but I know that my choices have not been the best. This morning, I made breakfast spinach cups. I make 6 at a time. You need a heaping hand full of spinach, a large pinch of shredded cheese, onion to taste, a small tomato (scoop out the seeds or they’ll be watery when they’re done), and two eggs. Mix and spoon into muffin tins. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes, and now you have breakfast or a snack on the go. I bag them in pairs. You can add bacon, but I wasn’t in the mood for that this morning. They hold together nicely too. I ate mine while stuck in traffic on my way to work this morning.

My list consists of tiny tasks. I break them down even smaller when I don’t feel well. If something looks too big for my energy level, then I know that I just won’t do it. I’m up for a nap right now, but I didn’t add that to my list… I should plan ahead for tomorrow.

Sick Snoozing Slug

I haven’t exercised since Friday. I have a cold and my only tasks right now are to sleep and whine about it.  I fear that I’m gradually losing all of the progress that I had made. I just can’t get up to workout. My body is already fighting, I can’t tucker it out even more. I have a to do list that is about 30 items long. I am totally ignoring it and sipping tea. Tea with honey to soothe my very sore throat. I’ve even been eating chicken soup with noodles. I haven’t had this much pasta in ages. I know it is just a noodle here and there, but those buggers add up. I want to go for a walk. I keep talking me out of it and pulling the blankets back around me.

I’m saying “can’t” a whole lot this post, and it is really irking me. I can do it, but I’m listening to my body and abstaining. I can force me to workout. I am choosing not to in favor of bettering my health. That said, I am at least going to stretch tonight. Perhaps a whole tv show can be spent on the floor working these kinks out of my body. Then I will drink a lot of water and sleep for 12 more hours. I am so glad that I don’t start my new job until Monday. I really hope that is enough time to kick this bug.

No, but I’m doing it anyways…

CrossFit two days in a row, I might be nuts. Where I wasn’t sore yesterday, I am making up for it today. I could barely roll out of bed this morning. I am not even sure where to start stretching. This is what we did last night…



50 DUs

40 burpees

30 pull ups

20 push ups

10 jumping AS

I hopped off of my platform after 20 jumping pullups. After checking the board again, I headed back realizing that I had the wrong total. I stood there, still puffing and beet red, and our coach asked, “you ready for your last 10, Nicole?” I said, “No, but I’m going to do them anyways.” That was a whole lot of jumping for my knee. Oddly enough, that isn’t even what’s sore. My lats from trying to pull me up and my thighs all over. They are having an event on Saturday, Barbells for Boobs. Feel free to donate. Save a pair. Save a life 🙂  We are going to stop in to watch in between events on Saturday. Estella has a race and we have a birthday party in the afternoon. I really want to see what everyone can do. The whole sport is just amazing to me. I’ve had another evening feeling accomplished. I am really looking forward to seeing improvements. I just know that I will get stronger if I keep with it.

I took today off in order to move the rest of my stuff. My truck backed out on me. I’m still going to move all that I can. I’m envisioning not too much stuff left at the house by 3:00 today. I’m cleaning the house until about 9:30, then heading over. Hopefully my muscles will work out their kinks the more I move. And I’m of and running!

All Warmed Up and Ready to Go

I sprang out of bed a whole lot easier this morning. Want to know how..? I turned on the heat. It is a lot easier to talk yourself into getting out from under your blankets when the room isn’t 40 degrees. I brought it up to a balmy 62. I don’t like using the heat unless it is absolutely necessary. I do, however, believe in boosting my mood and energy any reasonable way that I can. How I start my day is a big part of the theme of the rest of it. This morning, after my workout last night, I am not sore. I repeat, I am not sore. My lungs were dry. A shower fixed that. My hips were tight. My first walk of the day loosened them up. Don’t get me wrong, the workout was hard and I left totally tuckered out. However, the hard part was my lung conditioning and not my muscles. I think… I think I might go to tonight’s workout as well. It looked really hard, and kind of filled me with dread when looking at it. So, obviously, I need to make me go. I know I’ll be sore after this one. Double Unders and Burpees are on the list. If there’s jumping, then my knee is frowning in my general direction. I want to try. I want to drag myself to the end. This requires me to shuffle my planned day. I’ll need to go grocery shopping right after work, then go pick up Estella, then head right to the Box. From the Box we’ll go to the dojo. We are so very busy. Then we can go home and watch the World Series!

I am also back to tracking my calories. I had stopped because I’m lazy and I was snacking and didn’t really want to see the total calories that I was consuming. I’m all about facing myself right now, so I have successfully tracked for two days. I have been putting my menu for the day in before leaving my house. This keeps me from adding extra junk during my day. Bonus!


I’m thinking that I might recover faster this time. I had another killer CrossFit workout. My lungs feel so very dry from gasping for air. The whole group was very encouraging. I may have finished the rounds last, but I finished. I almost gave up. I almost threw up. But I finished instead. The only hiccup was with the stretches after. They did partner stretches today, and I have an issue or two. One is that I can’t have people I don’t know touching me. They gave me modified stretches to do by myself. I felt on display. It wasn’t fun, but I’ll get over it. I need to do this. I need to push. I need to improve.

Battling Excuses… again.

The Jillian Michaels’ DietBet is now over. I have officially weighed out and won. I dropped my extra weight and then some and I am so very relieved. I can’t wait until the results are finalized and I find out how much I won. That pot has quite a bit of potential. I am currently in one more DietBet, 20 days to go. I was thinking about not signing up for anymore right now, but then I realized that I was just giving into excuses… I have dropped quite a bit of weight, and I would like to maintain that loss. Blah blah blah. What I really mean to say is that I’m tired and cranky, it is cold out, and I want to be a slug for a bit, but I can’t when money is on the line. Perhaps that is the point of DietBet. It keeps you in line when you have something to lose. My plan today is to go to CrossFit before picking my daughter up from her after school program. I should stick with that plan. My alternative plan is to go home, take a nap, then pick her up… Ok, option one is better for me. I’ll feel better after I workout as well. Perhaps I’ve gone too long between real sweat sessions. I’ve lost my boost that I get. I’ve completed 12 missions on Zombies, Run! 2, but my knee was tender after a serious squat session, so I’ve mostly been walking.

It is not even 40 degrees out yet today. I had frost on my windows this morning. I wish I had something toastier to walk in. There’s my reason to pick up the pace! I’ll be warmer. Hopefully my treadmill will be moving in with me in the next week. That’ll help on the chilly days (and the stressed out evenings when I can’t get out to burn off my angst).

I just looked up the WOD for my Foundations class, and I’m now excited!


5 rounds:

400m run

20 sit ups

10 KB swings @1.5/1Pd

I know that I’ll be last on the run… every… single… time, but I love kettle balls and I really want to work on my sit ups. It was on my list of goals after all. I just need to make it through work. Tick Tock! Get a move on Clock!

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