Kindness starts at home

I am battling myself today. I started the day all sunshine and roses, ready to be productive. I was riding my high from yesterday. I was really happy to be starting a new month with success and positivity. My head just won’t let me hold onto it. Our self talk is critical in our success. We can encourage, support, or tear ourselves to bits. I am, unfortunately doing the latter today. It is like a top 40 listing of why I am unlovable playing on repeat. My own personal sound track of self-deprecation.

I am a very logical person. This is perhaps the most foolish exercise that my brain puts me through. I am serotonin deprived. It is like I get too many feel good hormones flying and my brain senses it. It becomes the nosy neighbor that wants to shut down your party at 8pm. We can’t be feeling this good, let’s call every bad train of thought and put a stop to it.

Be kind to yourself.

I am lovable. I know it. I even made a lovable kid that loves me back. I am intelligent and quick thinking on my feet. While I am a gifted procrastinator, I can move mountains on short notice. I value the people in my life and I let them know. I am funny, even when my humor is lost on others. I can succeed at anything that I put my mind to. I am a freakin’ force of nature.

I will say it again, because it is important… Be kind to yourself.

Breakfast and Procrastination (part 1)

I missed breakfast this morning. I was going to try and muddle through till lunch, but my tummy (and good reasoning) got the best of me. I, sadly, went to go to Dunkin’ Donuts around the corner for a breakfast sandwich. However, right next to them is a little cafe. I figured that I would peek in since it couldn’t be worse for me than Dunk’s. I ended up ordering the Veggie Breakfast Burrito. Oh my goodness, it was so very good. The egg was fluffy and not weighed down with butter or oil. The veggies were fresh; they sliced them right then. I had it on a spinach wrap. What a difference fresh food makes. It was so yummy and I inhaled it. Now I’m stuffed with just a burrito. I don’t feel weighed down or sluggish. That lets me know that I made a good decision. I may have to forget breakfast again…

We have another rainy day. I may brave the elements and go for a walk anyways. I’m feeling ambitious now. It is only 10 am and I’m 50 OZs into my water for the day too. I have a salad for lunch, but it was just the rest of the veggies in my fridge. It isn’t that big. I might have to dive into my oatmeal reserve.

I don’t seem able to finish my post on procrastination. I’ve stumbled upon an issue that I have. Have you ever been defined by something for so long that you’re afraid to change it? It feels like you’ll be losing part of your identity. It is a ridiculous thought. No one thing defines all of us. But knowing something and feeling that it is true are two completely different things. So you hold onto it, even if you’re trying to replace it with something better for you, something that will make you even happier. Trusting in yourself is hard, especially when you’ve been trained to doubt.

I am intelligent, witty, fun, good with numbers, insightful, independent, quick, dedicated, loyal, caring parent. I’m a lot of good things. I know it. How does doubt even creep in here? No one else’s voice should be louder in my head than my own. I can be successful. Hell, I am successful. I can make any positive change in my life that I want. I just need to whole-heartedly decide to do it. That’s my personal pep talk for the day.

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