All by myself…

I was singing that title as I typed it. My little girl is far away right now, and will be for another week. She is off visiting her father in Abu Dhabi. This leaves me alone. Me. Empty house. My cat yelling at me. I am determined to not spend this week moping. I will not sulk. I have done one thing so far to reinforce this…

My gym bag is packed! That’s right! I’m getting my butt to the gym for the first time this year. I am definitely not 100% after my pneumonia, but I am definitely doing better. I am still on the antibiotic, but I’ve been (finally) breathing a whole lot better. So, today, after church, I am hitting the gym. I don’t know what I’ll be doing yet, but I’ll try and formulate a plan by the time I arrive.

I will also be cooking today. One of the great benefits (that I remember) about living alone is that I can make one meal and eat it all week. I really don’t require a change in my food. I’ll get all my food groups in, but I have no problem eating the same thing every day. It gives me way less room to binge. I also packed all of the junk food for the kids on their flight so that I wouldn’t have any in the house.

To Do List for today:

  1. No pouting!
  2. Move my butt more.
  3. Make Turkey Cups (I’ll post pictures)
  4. (oh, what the hell) Do my homework 🙂

Mid-Week Chec In

Just wanted to touch base… I have walked every day thus far this week. I’ve coughed my lungs up at the end each time, but I did it. I’ve also stayed on my food plan with the exception of a Valentine chocolate… and a cookie I just ate. The cookie was organic, does that make it count less?

I purchased a whole lot more groceries than intended, but it has worked out well. I’ve had healthy snacks on hand for my after work munchies. As part of my mission to get back on track, I’ve also weighed in on my diet bet competition. I missed a couple of months, but I will make it this time! I just need to lose 19 lbs… In 4 weeks. Is that even possible? I’ll have to really kick my butt and follow the plan. Perhaps I should give away the cookies… I won’t do anything drastic yet.

Have a good week everyone!

Once I Mend…

So, I managed to get really sick, then sicker. I had pneumonia, and then the doctors that I visited didn’t treat me well the first couple of times I went in. I’m on my third round of antibiotics, and I’m finally starting to feel better. I still have 10 more days to take this stuff, but I think they finally have it right.

Fitness wise, I am back to the beginning. I get winded walking up a flight of stairs. I nap daily. I have been eating whatever is easy. It is going to be easy to make improvements this time because the only way to go is up. I’m going to try walking on Monday. There’s something about Mondays that make it the right mental time to start something. I’m going to start up again finally. I feel like I’ve done nothing yet this year. My goal for this up coming week is to walk one lap in my office building per day. It isn’t much. It adds up to about 1.25 miles. If you could understand how very little I’ve been doing, then you’d understand that it is way more than I have been able. Walking from the parking lot to my desk has caused a coughing fit. Doing laundry required a nap. I haven’t napped today. I’ve been cleaning. Although I’ve needed to rest, I’ve been doing so much better.

I have a stocked fridge of fruits and veggies. We’re out of chips and frozen processed garbage. I’m ready to clean out my system, my house, my head. I have a to do list and I’m ready to cross of items one by one (I’m starting that tonight).

So, how’s your year going?

No, but I’m doing it anyways…

CrossFit two days in a row, I might be nuts. Where I wasn’t sore yesterday, I am making up for it today. I could barely roll out of bed this morning. I am not even sure where to start stretching. This is what we did last night…



50 DUs

40 burpees

30 pull ups

20 push ups

10 jumping AS

I hopped off of my platform after 20 jumping pullups. After checking the board again, I headed back realizing that I had the wrong total. I stood there, still puffing and beet red, and our coach asked, “you ready for your last 10, Nicole?” I said, “No, but I’m going to do them anyways.” That was a whole lot of jumping for my knee. Oddly enough, that isn’t even what’s sore. My lats from trying to pull me up and my thighs all over. They are having an event on Saturday, Barbells for Boobs. Feel free to donate. Save a pair. Save a life 🙂  We are going to stop in to watch in between events on Saturday. Estella has a race and we have a birthday party in the afternoon. I really want to see what everyone can do. The whole sport is just amazing to me. I’ve had another evening feeling accomplished. I am really looking forward to seeing improvements. I just know that I will get stronger if I keep with it.

I took today off in order to move the rest of my stuff. My truck backed out on me. I’m still going to move all that I can. I’m envisioning not too much stuff left at the house by 3:00 today. I’m cleaning the house until about 9:30, then heading over. Hopefully my muscles will work out their kinks the more I move. And I’m of and running!

Running Apps

I have to share. I found an app that actually motivates me. Not only does it track my distance by GPS, accelerometer, or by manual entry, but it makes me want to run more and more often. I find myself sneaking away to get in a few more minutes here and there. And, it is fun! I give you Zombies, Run! 2. It tells a story and your playlist intermingles with it. You are smack dab in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. You must gather supplies, go on missions, and help build up your township. While on missions, they seem to be about 30 minutes each, if a zombie is near, then you must pick up your pace to outrun them.


I am having so much fun with this. Now I want more run/walking outings. Check it out 🙂

What is your vision?


It is important to keep your goals in mind as you move through your day. We sometimes hit a rough spot or go back into auto pilot with our unhealthy ways of thinking. Another thing that Jillian had us do was to create vision boards. Find pictures or words that represent your goals. Make a collage. Keep it where you can see it.

I made small 5×8 ones that I keep in a frame on my desk at work. They remind me of why I am facing my struggles instead of caving. I want health, happiness, strength, focus, to be more active, to find me attractive, flexibility, energy, endurance, serenity…

I want to feel that I’m amazing, creative, inspired. I want to burst at the seams with good feelings. These remind me and make me smile. Sometimes that’s what you need to stay the course.

Fitness at home

I think that my boyfriend finally realized that I’m trying to be healthier. I brought over the balance ball so that he could stretch his back. Then I balanced on it. I like to just sit on it and lift my feet up and see how long I can keep my balance. He’s pretty competitive, so as soon as he figured out what I was doing, the stop watch came out and he had to see how well he could do. I made it to 1.39 minutes and he got to about 20 seconds. He pointed out how it would be a good ab work out, since you’re constantly readjusting your core to keep you right side up. Then, we had to compete with pushups on the ball. I won, but only because I made him laugh and he had never tried to do a pushup on a ball before. He was so close to planting his face into the floor. Once we made it back to the couch, he brought up my request to go for walks at night. He said he would like to. I’m really happy about it. I would like both of us to be healthier.

I went a bit over on calories yesterday. It was all healthy foods, but I went for seconds on dinner. I probably didn’t need the second piece of chicken. At least it was grilled with a rub, no sauce. Everyone keeps eating my salads with dinner, which is good. I wonder what other healthy sides I can sneak in. The older child has said that he’s bored with our dinners. I’ll have to come up with something good.

I can do this!

Day 2 was a success and day 3 is off to a fine start. Yesterday, I came in under my allotted calories by about 100. I like using an app to track my calories. I added an avocado to my evening snack and when I saw that it put me over my calories, I opted for a Stonyfield Greek Yogurt. Little changes, and I’m on my way.

Yesterday’s cube circuit consisted of calf raises, scissor kicks (seated at my desk), tricep kickback, shoulder press and dead lifts. I met my goal of 1100 reps and I can sure feel it in my legs today. I used my lunch break yesterday to go purchase new sneakers. The boys at the sports stores are really frustrating. The most they can say about a shoe is that it is the latest technology, and that’s where their training ended. I ended up going to Sears and grabbing a pair of New Balance. I was hoping to try them out today, and go for a walk, but I woke up to rain and it hasn’t stopped yet. If it lets up, I’ll take a lap or two around the building.

Today, I will be putting together a weight loss jar. I am taking the idea from The Hot Mess Princess. She calls them motivation marbles. I have a shelf at work where I can keep them. Pretty much, you fill a jar with marbles that represent all of the weight that you need to remove to meet your goal. As you let pounds go, you remove a marble. I like visuals of my goals. I find that they help keep me on track.

I’ve noticed that I keep my fitness stuff at work. I am very self-conscious with weight loss. I won’t exercise near my boyfriend, or even hint that I’m changing my diet to be healthier. It is almost like I’m afraid that he’ll notice that I’m fat. I’ll work on my fears… eventually. I did manage to slip a salad into our dinner last night without him or the kids noticing (well, they didn’t say anything). The other option was a can of corn, and I was really leaning toward more greener veggies. I even have the leftover salad for lunch today.

I feel like today is even more manageable than yesterday. I am going to stay optimistic and keep on moving.

Ground Zero

They say that every journey starts with a single step. I am about to take mine. I know that I am not the healthiest of people. My weight goes up and down with each diet and phase in my life. It took one week for it to sink in just how far I have let things (me) go.

I go camping every year with my daughter. It is a Mother/Daughter camping weekend, and we started when she was 5. She’s now about to turn 9. This year, we swam, sang songs, helped clean up, made friends. We had a great time. As we walked up the hill to the pavilion on our final night, I was winded. I was winded enough that I needed to stop. This is definitely new. I have torn cartilage in my knee, and it is usually the injury that slows me down. This had nothing to do with pain, and everything to do with my body being just too much for me to move well. Toss in with that overhearing my daughter tell her friends about my nap earlier in the afternoon and we have a red flag.

A few days after returning from the lake and our lovely camping trip, it was the 4th of July. My boyfriend and I went into Boston with the kids. We walked around the city in the stifling heat. They waited for me to catch up, time and time again. I get the knowing look from my boyfriend, which is all wrong. He urges me to put my knee brace on and I don’t have the ability to tell him that my knee isn’t the problem. We grab a few more frosty bottles of water and are heading back to the water for the concert when I catch it. My reflection in a passing store front. Oh. My. Goodness. When did this happen? I am so very round. How did I not notice the disappearance of my waist? It all makes sense now, moving slowly, the disappearance of my energy, and my usual drive to get things done. My flexibility has not only dwindled, I can’t even move around myself to stretch like I used to. I go to sleep with my aching joints and I now see that it is because I am carrying around a burden far too large for them to comfortably handle.

I went on with our evening with these thoughts giving a steady hum in the back of my mind. I am a problem solver, and I know that I can fix this. We all know how to lose weight. It is simple. Eat less and move more. No more “diets”, I’ve done that and it works very temporarily. My system is broken. I am looking for a full repair with a lifetime warranty, not just a quick fix.

Today is my final Day 1. Here is my first step.

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