Goals and Moving Moving (part 4)

I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing this month. My weight is firmly in the 230’s. We’re not saying goodbye any time soon. My cold is a sinus and ear infection. The theory is that my allergy meds can’t handle the amount of dust moving has stirred up for my head. My nasal cavities are revolting in the form of pine green sludge. My antibiotic has me hearing again, but my new and improved allergy medicine has me watery eyed and sniffily.

My other obstacle right now is my depression rearing its ugly head. I am bipolar and I refuse to go back on meds. While they are great for my lows, they also balance out my highs. Real happiness is rare enough, I don’t want it to be medicated away. Since I can’t use exercise to pep me up, stupid sinuses, I’m sinking. I’m sleeping. I’m averaging 10 hours of sleep on a week day right now. I napped most of yesterday. I have been trying to do my homework for days now, but my brain just can’t focus on it. I need someone to hang out with me. Remind me not to sleep when my eye lids get heavy and tell me to answer just one more question when I sit here and stare at this screen. Even this post has taken me days to write. I started on the 1st. I need help, and I’m afraid to ask. I feel so isolated at the new place. I’m so alone right now and that feeling is just taking over.

So here’s how I did with my to do list… I’m removing the entry to repair the rail. Apparently, it requires more structural repair than I can accomplish on my own.

October

  1. Remodel my closet. (on hold, but well underway. Boyfriend is away and will complete upon his return)(carried from August)
  2. Move all of my stuff into the new house (Still working on it. I have two more days)(Now I’ve been extended another week)(carried from August)
  3. Improve Crunches to 40 and knee push ups to 20. (Carried from September)
  4. Fix the railing on the porch and paint it. (Carried from September)
  5. Go jogging with my boyfriend. (He doesn’t want to sooo much that he left the country again)
  6. Take a new class at the gym (or possibly stop in at the CrossfitΒ  gym I found near my house)
  7. Say good bye to the 230’s.

November

  1. Move all of my stuff into the new house (Still working on it. I have two more days)(Now I’ve been extended another week)(carried from August)(For the love of God, please let this get done)
  2. Go jogging with my boyfriend. (He doesn’t want to sooo much that he left the country again. (Carried from October)
  3. Say good bye to the 230’s. (Carried from October)
  4. Go to at least 1 crossfit class a week.

By June 2014

  1. Take a scuba class.
  2. Run an entire 5k.
  3. Reduce debt by 50%.
  4. Organize all stored items in basement.
  5. Have a yard sale.
  6. Onederland

I didn’t add anything much. It felt really discouraging that I didn’t cross more off this month. I want moving to be done. It is probably all the dust from these boxes that is setting my allergies off. I just don’t have the energy to fix everything. I’m going to keep trying, because that’s all I can do.

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8 thoughts on “Goals and Moving Moving (part 4)

  1. Keep trying! You are doing so well! Temporary set back don’t have to be permanent. Do as much as you can do even if it is a bit of walking until you can get back to more exercise. Concentrate on what you have accomplished and what you can do and you will get through this πŸ™‚
    I can (and will) cheer you on remotely I promise πŸ™‚
    (Ps I am not bipolar but a very good friend is so I have seen it, and I have been through the depression and being medicated thing, so I can understand why you don’t want to be again…but remember you have to do what is necessary to make you better πŸ™‚ ) x

  2. I get the depression part. It’s really, really tough when it doesn’t cooperate. I’m not encouraging the medication thing, but what about a low dose to help get you through? I don’t know…mental stuff is really delicate. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.

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